Be - Chapter I
Be No.12 (2021)
An avocado plant in our office: One of my colleagues has family who farm avocados, and every harvest season they send a large box to the company so everyone can make avocado juice. Other coworkers took the leftover seeds and started growing them as office plants. Although the seeds have to soak in water for a long time before they sprout, the success rate is actually quite decent, and now the windowsill is lush with greenery. (2021.1)
The circuit board in a retired electric thermos: Formula for infants is supposed to be mixed with water at 70°C, but not every electric thermos has a 70°C setting. Getting a child to drink “properly” prepared milk turns out to be no small feat. And yet there is always a voice in the back of my mind: no matter what temperature the water is, don’t children still grow up anyway? (2021.9)
辦公室裡的酪梨盆栽： 有位同事家裡種酪梨，每年產季都會寄一大箱來公司打酪梨汁給大家喝，其他同事就拿剩下的種子在公司裡養盆栽，雖然要泡水很久才會發芽，但成功率也算高，於是窗邊一片綠意盎然。 (2021.1)
退役熱水瓶裡的電路板： 泡嬰幼兒的奶粉要用 70 度的水，但不是所有熱水瓶都有 70 度的設定，要讓小孩喝到「正確」的牛奶還真不容易。只不過心裡總是會有個聲音：用什麼水溫泡，小孩不還是照樣長大嗎？ (2021.9)
Be No.11 (2021)
A fallen maple leaf in our apartment complex: Our apartment complex has a small gym, but since moving in, I can count on one hand the number of times I have used it. Without some kind of constraint, it really is difficult to maintain the habit of exercising. (2021.1)
The circuit board in the office NAS: Should we use a 2-bay NAS or a 5-bay NAS? Should the server be kept at the office or in the cloud? At work, we are usually expected to explain the reasons behind our trade-offs clearly. But when it comes to personal matters, we often cannot even explain to ourselves why we make the choices we do. (2021.1)
社區裡的青楓落葉： 社區裡雖然有一個小健身房，但是自從搬過來之後使用的次數是屈指可數。如果沒有某種約束力的話，真的很難保持運動的習慣。 (2021.1)
辦公室 NAS 的電路板： 要用 2-bay 的NAS 還是5-bay 的？伺服器要放辦公室還是要放雲端？在公事上的取捨我們通常必須說清楚原因；而在私事上為什麼要那樣取捨，我們往往自己也說不出來。 (2021.1)
Be No.10 (2021)
A snail shell found in our apartment complex: Children seem to love watching snails, and my son is no exception. I am curious whether, for adults, staring at such a slow-moving animal is a form of healing or a form of torture. (2020.11)
The networking cables in our office: The company server room still has network cabling left behind by the previous tenant. The sheer number of cables is enough to make your scalp tingle. I sincerely admire the person who designed and managed all those lines. They must have possessed extraordinary patience. (2021.1)
社區裡撿到的蝸牛殼： 小朋友好像都很喜歡看蝸牛，我兒子也不例外。我好奇對大人來說，盯著這種移動緩慢的動物，究竟是一種療癒，還是一種折磨？ (2021.1)
辦公室裡的網路線材： 公司機房裡有前一間承租單位留下來的網路線路，線材的數量多到讓人頭皮發麻，由衷佩服設計和管理這些線路的人，他們肯定有超乎常人的耐心。 (2021.1)
Be No.9 (2020)
The egg in my breakfast: I am hopeless in the kitchen. All I can make are fried eggs and boiled dumplings. But in truth, I chose to become hopeless in the kitchen, because spending so much time making something only for it to disappear in one bite feels like a terrible deal to me. And besides, learning from scratch is just too exhausting. (2020.12)
A retired electric fan: I am not someone who is especially sensitive to heat. In the past, I could sleep perfectly well through summer nights without turning on the air conditioner. But in recent years, I feel more and more unable to do that. I wonder whether the world has changed, or whether I have. (2020.12)
我的早餐雞蛋： 我是個廚房白癡，只會煎蛋和煮水餃。但我其實是選擇成為一個廚房白癡的，因為花這麼多時間做出來的東西一口阿姆吃掉就沒了，我覺得很不划算，而且還要從頭學起實在太累了。 (2020.12)
退役的電風扇： 我不是一個怕熱的人，以前夏天不用開冷氣都可以睡得很好，但這幾年總覺得越來越沒辦法了，不知道是世界變了還是我變了？ (2020.12)
Be No.8 (2020)
A Pongamia seed pod picked up by my son: Someone once said that instead of giving children gifts, you should take them traveling. That idea resonates deeply with me, because gifts will eventually create the dilemma of whether to keep or throw away, while travel and good meals do not have that problem. (2020.11)
My wife’s old hard drive: I remember helping my father install software when I was young. It often required a whole stack of large floppy disks, inserted into the drive one after another according to their numbers. It was quite a major operation. (2020.10)
兒子撿到的水黃皮豆莢： 有人說，送孩子禮物，不如帶他去旅行。這話深得我心，因為禮物遲早會遇到丟與不丟的困擾，旅行或吃大餐就沒這問題了。 (2020.11)
老婆的舊硬碟： 記得小時候幫爸爸安裝軟體，常常要用到一整疊的大磁碟片，照著編號一片接著一片放進磁碟機裡，是個大工程。 (2020.10)
Be No.7 (2020)
A pine cone given to me by a friend: An old classmate who collects LEGO told me that many LEGO pieces today represent only one specific thing, unlike older LEGO pieces, where the same mold could become something completely different depending on the scene. For example, a piece shaped like a flashlight could become a support leg when used on a camper van. That, he said, is the kind of LEGO that truly sparks people’s imagination. (2020.10)
The circuitry inside my bass: This electric bass, which I bought during my first year of university, was made in West Germany, bearing witness to the history of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Unfortunately, after coming to Taiwan, it did not quite adapt to the climate, and without proper care, its neck became badly warped. Even so, I still love its sound and find it hard to let go of it. (2020.10)
朋友送的松果： 有在收藏樂高的老同學說，現在的樂高很多零件都是一個就只代表一種東西，不像以前的樂高，同一個模子的零件用在不同場景，就變成了完全不一樣的東西，例如手電筒形狀的零件用在露營車上就變成了支撐腳，這樣的樂高才能激發人們的想像力。 (2020.10)
貝斯裡的電路： 大一時買的這把電貝斯是 Made in West Germany，見證了柏林圍牆倒塌的歷史。只可惜來到台灣後水土不服，也沒有得到適當的保養，琴頸嚴重變形了。儘管如此，我還是很喜歡它的聲音，對它愛不釋手。 (2020.10)
Be No.6 (2020)
The wildly growing Kalanchoe laetivirens: Along the windowsill, there was a row of Kalanchoe laetivirens planted in mugs. The auntie who made breakfast at a hotel enthusiastically plucked a few plantlets for us to take home. Once we planted them, we realized how incredible they were: they would not die even without watering, and they reproduced like wildfire. (2020.10)
The company HDMI adapter: This HDMI adapter in the company meeting room has been used so much that its casing has fallen off, yet it continues to work tirelessly. Adapters really are vessels that transcend time and space. (2020.10)
瘋狂生長的蕾絲姑娘： 窗邊成排以馬克杯種植的蕾絲姑娘，旅館做早餐的阿姨熱情地摘了幾個芽苗給我們，回家一種發現不得了，不澆水也死不了，而且繁殖速度如野火燎原。 (2020.10)
公司的 HDMI 轉接器： 公司會議室裡這個 HDMI 的轉接頭已經被用到殼都掉了仍然賣命工作。轉接頭真的是一種超越時空的載體。 (2020.10)
Be No.5 (2020)
A leaf from a trip: An old classmate of mine was about to become a father. Knowing full well how difficult raising a child can be, he felt anxious, so he decided to shut down some ventures that consumed a lot of time but were difficult to profit from. His financial path began to open up because of that. I feel the same very deeply: the birth of a child gave me the opportunity to learn how to make trade-offs. (2020.10)
The mechanism inside a film camera: I bought this slightly broken Canon A-1 online for a low price, and after applying some sewing machine oil, I managed to fix it. A while ago, its light meter broke, so I sent it in for repair. Fortunately, after the part was replaced, it returned to normal. Old cameras like this may have their small problems, but they are still very tough. (2020.9)
旅途中的一片葉子： 一位老同學快當爸爸了，他深知養孩子有多難因而感到焦慮，於是他決定把一些很花時間又難以獲利的事業都先收掉，財路也因此開始變得通順了。我也深深覺得，孩子的出生給了我學習如何做取捨的機會。 (2020.10)
底片相機裡的機構： 當初在網路上便宜買了這台有點故障的 Canon A1，上了一些針車油就把它修好了。前陣子它的測光壞了送修，幸好零件換掉後又恢復正常了。這種老相機雖然會有一些小毛病，但還是很耐操的。 (2020.9)
Be No.4 (2020)
A cicada found on the balcony: I took my one-year-old son out to the balcony to water the plants and found a dried-up cicada, completely intact. I did not know how to tell him what it was, nor did I know how to explain what had happened to it. I quietly dropped it into a trash bag, but I still felt that it was a bit of a shame. (2020.9)
The circuit inside the enlarger timer: I only recently discovered that the enlarger timer had become inaccurate. No wonder photographs printed with the same settings kept coming out at different densities. I had suspected every part of the printing and developing process, except this. (2020.9)
陽台發現的蟬： 帶一歲多的兒子去陽台澆花，發現一隻已經乾掉的蟬，很完整。我不知道怎麼告訴兒子這是什麼，也不知道如何解釋它怎麼了。我默默將它丟進垃圾袋，卻又覺得有點可惜。 (2020.9)
放大機計時器裡的電路： 最近才發現原來放大機計時器不準了，難怪每次同樣參數洗出來的照片濃度都不一樣。我曾把所有放像和沖洗的環節都懷疑過了一遍，唯獨沒懷疑過它。(2020.9)
Be No.3 (2020)
A fallen leaf from a street tree: I took my son to meet friends at a restaurant, and accidentally brought home one of the restaurant’s books along with the picture book a friend had given us. My son really liked that book. Usually, when paper books end up in his hands, they need tape almost immediately. But we worked very hard to return this one to the restaurant intact, with only a few extra creases. (2020.9)
The circuit board in a broken camera: I found this fully functional Pentax compact camera in a secondhand shop. Although it was not extremely cheap, it at least satisfied the joy of treasure hunting, and it stayed with me for quite some time. Recently, its film advance mechanism broke, and it can no longer take pictures. Sending it in for repair probably would not be worth it. I still have not figured out how to say goodbye to it. (2020.9)
行道樹的落葉： 帶兒子去餐廳跟朋友聚餐，不小心把餐廳的一本書跟著朋友送的童書一起帶回家了，兒子很喜歡這本書。通常這種紙本書到兒子手裡一眨眼就會需要膠帶伺候，但我們很努力地讓它完整的回到餐廳了，僅僅多了一些摺痕。 (2020.9)
故障相機的電路板： 當初從二手商店撿到這台功能正常的 Pentax 隨身機，雖然價格沒有超級便宜，但至少滿足了挖寶的樂趣，它也陪了我好一陣子。最近它的過片功能故障了，無法再拍照，送修大概也划不來。我還沒想好該怎麼跟它道別。 (2020.9)
Be No.2 (2020)
Fallen leaves in the park: I took my son to the park, and he liked picking up leaves from the ground and stuffing them into drain covers or any random hole he could find. I wonder whether he found it interesting to make things disappear. (2020.9)
The enlarger repaired by my father: Several years ago, during a home renovation, I temporarily moved my enlarger outdoors and covered it with a raincoat. After the renovation was finished, I found that the wooden base had rotted, and the timer was covered in hardened cement and could no longer be used. My father made a new baseboard for me and repaired the timer. If the same thing happened between my son and me, I would probably give up on saving it and simply buy him a new set. (2020.9)
公園裡的落葉： 帶兒子去公園玩，他喜歡把地上的樹葉撿起來塞進水溝蓋或隨便什麼洞裡，不知道是不是覺得把東西變不見很有趣。 (2020.9)
被父親修好的放大機： 好幾年前家裡整修，我暫時把我的放大機移到戶外用雨衣罩著。整修完之後，發現底座木板已腐壞，計時器沾滿凝固的水泥，已無法使用。父親幫我重新製作了一個底板，並將計時器修好了。如果同樣的事情發生在我和兒子身上，我大概會放棄治療直接買一組新的給他吧。 (2020.9)
Be No.1 (2020)
My unkillable golden pothos: I am a plant killer. Most of the potted plants I have cared for have not survived more than a year. But this golden pothos is one of the earliest plants I ever grew, and fortunately, it is still alive today. Several times, it looked as if it was about to die because I had forgotten to water it, but as soon as I watered it again, it came back to life. I am grateful to it, because it makes me feel that I am not completely hopeless in this area. (2020.8)
A retired wireless AP: A while ago, the internet at home kept getting slower and slower, so I asked a technician to come take a look. The engineer said that in recent years, because too many devices use the 2.4 GHz band, the interference had become severe, and he recommended switching to a wireless AP with a 5 GHz band. And so, this AP without a 5 GHz band was eliminated. (2020.8)
種不死的黃金葛： 我是個盆栽殺手，被我養過的盆栽大多都活不過一年，但這株黃金葛是我最早養的盆栽之一，很幸運地活到了今天，雖然中間有好幾次都因為沒澆水看起來快掛了，但只要再澆水，它就會復活。我很感謝它，讓我覺得我在這方面並非一無是處。 (2020.8)
退役的無線 AP： 前陣子家裡的網路變得越來越慢，找了廠商來看，工程師說是因為近幾年來因為使用 2.4G 頻段的裝置太多，干擾嚴重，建議換一台有 5G 頻段的無線 AP。因此這台沒有 5G 頻段的 AP 慘遭淘汰。 (2020.8)
The starting point of "Be" was not a fully formed creative project, but a doodle I made during alternative service training: a tree growing gears.
At the time, I was simply bored in class and scribbling in my notebook. Years later, when I came across it again, I realized that the image had stayed with me because it was very close to a state that has appeared again and again in my life. As someone trained in engineering, I am used to relying on logic and analysis when making judgments. Looking back, however, many important decisions did not come from any complete career plan, but from more immediate emotions. I chose the second academic track because I did not want to dissect frogs; I became a deserter from the joint entrance exam in order to enter the university club I wanted to join; I decided to apply to graduate school so I could keep playing in a band. What truly led me to make those choices was often the very concrete resistance, longing, and attachment I felt at the time.
That gear tree matters not because it can be easily translated into nature and technology, or rationality and sensibility. It is more like something that grew out of my mind: one part carrying the shape of life, another carrying the structure of machinery. It does not exist in reality, yet it occupies a place that is difficult to notice, but important.
From there, I began to wonder whether photography could transform the image of that gear tree into a body of work. Photography lets me use things that truly exist in my life as materials: circuit boards from the office, retired hard drives, broken keyboards, plants encountered on the road, things my son picked up, and objects at home that I could not bring myself to throw away. When they replace the gears and tree from the original doodle, they are no longer merely symbols of abstract ideas; they already belong to my life, and each object carries traces of how I once used it, encountered it, remembered it, or forgot it.
In "Be", I take the inversion process I was already familiar with and expand it from black and white into color. In ordinary photography, a leaf is a leaf and a circuit board is a circuit board; even when placed together, each still carries its own clear identity. After inversion, those materials can still be recognized as coming from reality, but they no longer present the colors and textures they have in everyday experience. Because of this, they gain a certain distance from reality, allowing them to better carry the image of that gear tree that does not belong to the real world.
Layering inverted images is more unpredictable than layering ordinary images. I can only find which two materials can hold together through repeated attempts. What I call "working" ultimately returns to my subjective judgment: after the two materials are layered, do their colors, textures, and light produce a certain order, and do they begin to form an image I am willing to stay with?
Most of the time, the image is completed first, and only then does it lead me back to think: why did I keep these materials, where did they appear in my life, and what memories do they draw out that I might not have actively recalled on my own? The text emerges through this act of looking back. It is not an annotation of the image, but an index of memory forced out by the image.
For me, the title "Be" initially came from a desire to sketch my inner state through that symbolic image. As the series developed, it gradually became a way for me to look back at life, objects, and memory through images and text. Like that gear tree, these works do not fully belong to reality, yet they grow out of my reality, allowing the things left behind in everyday life to be seen in another form.
《Be》的起點不是一個完整的創作計畫，而是一張替代役新訓時的塗鴉：一棵長著齒輪的樹。
那時我只是覺得上課無聊，隨手在筆記本上亂畫。多年後重新看到它，我才發現這個意象之所以一直留在我心裡，是因為它很接近我生命裡反覆出現的狀態。身為理工科出身的人，我習慣用邏輯和分析來做判斷；但回頭看，許多重要決定並不是來自什麼完整的生涯規劃，而是一些更直接的情感。因為不想解剖青蛙而選擇二類組，為了進入想加入的大學社團而成為聯考的逃兵，為了繼續玩樂團而決定考研究所。真正讓我做出這些選擇的，往往是當時很具體的抗拒、嚮往和執著。
那棵齒輪樹之所以重要，不是因為它可以被簡單翻譯成自然與科技，或理性與感性。它更像一個從我心裡長出來的東西：一部分帶著生命的形狀，一部分帶著機械的結構。它並不存在於現實中，卻佔據著一個不容易被察覺、卻很重要的位置。
於是我開始想，是否能用攝影把那棵齒輪樹的意象轉化成作品。攝影讓我可以使用真實存在於我生活中的事物作為素材：辦公室裡的電路板、退役的硬碟、壞掉的鍵盤、路上遇見的植物、兒子撿到的東西、家裡捨不得丟的物件。當它們取代了原本塗鴉中的齒輪與樹，也就不再只是抽象概念的符號；它們本來就屬於我的生活，每一件都帶著我曾經如何使用它、遇見它、記住它，或忘記它的痕跡。
在《Be》中，我把原本熟悉的反相手法從黑白拓展到彩色。一般攝影裡，葉子就是葉子，電路板就是電路板；它們被放在一起時，仍然帶著各自明確的身份。反相之後，那些材料仍然看得出是來自於現實，卻不再呈現日常經驗裡原本的顏色與質感，也因此與現實拉開一段距離，使它們更能承接那棵不屬於現實的齒輪樹的意象。
反相後的影像疊合，比一般影像的疊合更加難以預測。我只能透過反覆嘗試，找出哪兩個素材的疊合能夠成立。所謂「成立」，最後仍然回到我的主觀判斷：兩個素材的色彩、紋理與光線在疊合之後，是否產生某種秩序，是否開始形成一個讓我願意停留的畫面。
多數時候，是影像先完成了，我才被它帶著回頭去想：這些材料為什麼會被我留下，它們曾經出現在生活中的哪個位置，又牽出了哪些我原本可能不會主動回想的事情。文字是在這個回看的過程裡產生的；它不是影像的註解，而是影像逼出的記憶索引。
《Be》這個標題對我來說，最初是想透過那個象徵性的意象，勾勒出自己的內在狀態；隨著系列發展，它逐漸成為我透過影像與文字回看生活、物件與記憶的方式。這些作品如同那棵齒輪樹一樣，不完全屬於現實，卻從我的現實裡長出來，讓日常中留下的事物以另一種形狀被看見。